Keep Yer Friends Closer

Many years ago my old neighbor Andrew decided to run for County sheriff. He did all the usual elbow Rubbin’ and palm greasing and pressing flesh (handshaking). He even painted a few signs and put them up at prominent crossroads. Unfortunately, while he was a pretty sharp fellow, and knew the county way better than most, he had a few flaws, as do we all. Moreover, His opponent was very popular, and had strong financial backing. Well, election day came, and folks came to town, some in cars and pick up trucks, even a few still driving mules to farm wagons and gigs. The next day when all the smoke cleared and the votes were tallied up, my friend had only two votes. Probably one was his and the other was his wife’s! that morning he sauntered into the café at the corner of the two Highway intersection, locally known as “the Y “, and ordered his breakfast. One of the locals sitting there nursing his coffee looked him over and commented “Andrew I see you’re packing iron (carrying a pistol in a holster) don’t you know you lost the election? You’re not the sheriff! Andrew slowly turned around, looked over the rims of his glasses and remarked “I seen the election results. I figured any son of a gun that ain’t got any more friends than I got, damn well BETTER carry a gun! “

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